Investment in Education - Always a Great Payoff

This wonderful son of mine just got STRAIGHT A's his first semester at ASU in the Aerospace Engineering program. Calculus, Chemistry and lab, Intro to Mechanical Engineering....all A's! He even managed to get an A+ in a weighted class, so his GPA is actually 4.3
Way to go Eric! Keep this up and you will get a scholarship and placement in the masters program for sure (you have to have a 3.6 GPA to be accepted in the masters program). We are so proud of you! So worth the $4,000 tuition a semester. We believe in education.

Mountain View JV Girl's Soccer Schedule

Bryanna's very first game is today - in Tucson! So we will all wish her good luck and hear about the highlights later.

Bryanna's JV game schedule is listed below. JV plays at 4:00 and Varsity right after. All home games are played in the stadium at Mountain View (2700 E. Brown Road). We invite anyone who loves soccer or just wants to support Bryanna to come to her games. She will be playing Sweeper and Goal Keeper. Go #22! Hope to see you there!

Dec 14 (Home) Hamilton (this should be a great game)
Dec 18 (Home) Deer Valley
Jan 5 (Away) Mesa
Jan 6 (Home) Cibola
Jan 8 (Away) Dobson
Jan 19 (Home) Higley
Jan 22 (Away) Gilbert
Jan 26 (Away) Westview
Jan 29 (Home) Basha

More Patriot Cup Pictures

Bryanna as keeper


Awards ceremony with Coach Jim and Coach Mike

Patriot Cup Champions

Congratulations to Bryanna's team, MSC United 96 for winning the Patriot Cup this weekend! Many years they came in second, but this year they dominated first! Bryanna played her favorite position, sweeper,for most of the tournament. That is the last defensive player guarding the goal before the goal keeper. She even managed to make a goal from that position! She also played midfield for one half game, where she scored a goal and the other half of the game she played goal keeper. She punted a return ball 3/4's of the way across the field, where the forward striker kicked once and made the score. Goalie-assisted goals are pretty rare in girl's soccer....Go Bryanna!

We look forward to cheering her on the JV Team at Mountain View starting in December. For a calendar of her games, click here.

Bryanna's 2009 Tennis Season

 
Bryanna's last minute decision to join the Brimhall 9th Grade Tennis Team was a good one. She learned a lot about the game and had a chance to compete. She did extremely well - losing only one match all season. Brimhall won their division, which is quite unusual for Brimhall sports! Bryanna made it to the City Meet, where she met her match with the #1 girls from Stapley and Poston Jr. High. She lost, but made it to the Consolation Match where she WON! She got a medal for her efforts, and the tennis season is officially over. She tries out for Mountain View soccer team next week. Good luck Bryanna - we look forward to watching her kick it as a Toro. Go Bryanna!

Pumpkins Stream of Consciousness

The weather is FINALLY getting nice...and I am thinking of spice, fall and pumpkins.

Initially, I think this:



Which morphs into this:



Which reminds me of Smashing Pumpkins - LOVE this song (click on it to hear): SIVA

America's Got a Bailout...for Kevin Skinner

America's got talent, but its questionable if it can pick a winner. Last night Kevin Skinner won America's Got Talent. Yup, this guy:


I know economic times are hard for everyone. We all love an inspirational story. And this unrefined, unemployed chicken catcher is no exception. I think he's a nice guy! But does he deserve a bailout to the "tune" of one million dollars?

Where is Kanye West when you need him?

Bryanna's Tennis Match

Bryanna decided to join the Brimhall Jr. High tennis team while she waits for soccer season to start. She got the opportunity to play in the #1 position and is doing really well! She won her singles and doubles match on Monday, and today they played Taylor Jr. High. All the Brimhall players lost their match, except Bryanna. I was able to go watch her, and she played well. She also won her doubles match - two of the three wins for Brimhall today. Go Bryanna - maybe you will ditch soccer for tennis! OK she won't, but who says you can't enjoy more than one sport?

Max is a Bobcat

 
Today's was the first Cub Scouts Pack Meeting that Max attended. He got to go across the bridge and be welcomed into the Pack. He also participated in the presentation (see him studying his slip of paper with his "lines") and even earned his Bobcat badge. I was proud of him as he pinned the Bobcat pin on my shirt. Go Max!

Eric's First Kiss

 

We had the delight of meeting up with some of our oldest and dearest friends this weekend - the Ehlands! Glenn was best man at our wedding and he and Susan got married very soon after us. We had some really good times together. Can you believe it's been almost 19 years?

During our visit Susan brought these pictures out. Don't you love them? This is Eric and their daughter, Brianna at about 2 to 2.5 years old - ha! We had a good laugh at how suave Eric was with his hands at her face and foot out to the side, leaning up against the couch. What a pro. Glenn said this is the first and LAST time Eric gets to kiss his daughter. And if you saw her now, you would know why. What a beautiful girl she is!

Thank you to the Ehlands for sharing their Saturday with us. What a fun walk down memory lane and a reminder that good friends are such a blessing - and if they are truly good friends, you can see them in eight weeks, eight months or eight years and they are still wonderful. We look forward to seeing them again really soon and getting the kids together. But don't expect any more kissing pictures - Eric already had his chance.

Bad Dog?

Yesterday my sweetheart went to his Oncologist. He examined Darrell's leg with the torn ACL,reviewed the reports from the Opthamologist on his glaucoma, and treated the ongoing shingles and a second skin fugal infection. As he was writing up the order for Darrell to see the Cardiologist for his heartbeat that becomes erratic during illness, he stopped and looked at Darrell. Then he said this: "I bet you wonder what you have done wrong to have all this happen to you". My reaction to the Dr.'s statement? I burst out laughing - because that thought had crossed my mind and honestly, he has had to deal with so much. Darrell is the nicest person - sincerely. He is so mellow and kind the only people that don't like him have been on the other side of a lawsuit from him. I had to laugh because it was like when someone states the obvious that everyone is thinking but no one has the courage to say.

But in true classic-Darrell response, my husband said "I was able to come to this appointment and drove myself- so many people have it so much worse. I feel like I have been blessed." Darrell looked over at me laughing and started to chuckle too. I am sure the Oncologist was ready to write us both anti-psychotics. But I also think it was refreshing to have upbeat people in his office. I don't know how he can deal with all the failure and death that comes with treating cancer, but I am so grateful he was willing to in order to be our Doctor.

If you or someone you love in Arizona has cancer, please consider Dr. Harrison Bachrach. We wholeheartedly recommend him.

Max Gets Baptized!

 

Max had a special day today - he was baptized by his big brother Eric and confirmed a member by his father Darrell. The Bishopric attended and his Primary President, our home teachers, Max's Primary teachers and his Primary helper. He was wonderful! Bryanna led the music, Eric performed a special musical number on the piano and I gave the talk. The Spirit was so strong - I couldn't help but cry. Even my Mom got up and bore her testimony - fantastic considering she isn't a member, but she felt so strongly she just needed to get up and speak from her heart. Our Bishop was also moved to tears when he welcomed Max as the newest member of the Salt River Ward. It was a wonderful experience and Max was so good. He seemed to really understand what was happening and his behavior was amazing. It was a wonderful day and one that we will remember always. I hope that clarity will remain with Max - the veil seemed so thin. Great decision Max! We are so proud of you.

Summer 2009 So Far

 

What a fun summer we have had! Darrell and Eric had their birthday, complete with sundaes! And Max turned 8 on Friday and we took him to Knott's Soak City and Chuck E. Cheese to celebrate. Even Bryanna got into the act at Chuck E. Cheese by riding in on her white horse - that was fun to watch! Eric graduated and formed his fake Christian Rock Band (this picture was just for grins, but when he posted it on Facebook he got lots of reactions - yeesh!) Max has been swimming almost every day in our new pool and we have generally had lots of fun. Bryanna would like to end with Maui as her favorite part of summer. HA! Hope your family has made fun memories too. XOXOXOXO - the Hadders

Hawaii Memories

It has been too long since I have posted. I wanted to share some pictures of our Hawaii trip.

Eric and Bryanna at Surf School.


A girl and her daddy!


Best friends.

Eric's Senior Pictures

Eric graduates with honors from Mesa High School next week. Enjoy these pictures of Eric - the photographer caught both his serious and fun side. We are so proud of him!

Max Goes to Work

Max didn't have an especially good day yesterday. When I asked him about it, he told me it wasn't his fault, because he had a secret. A secret? Max assured me that the reason he didn't do well yesterday was because his brain had taken a job on Mondays and wasn't there in school with him. I am not kidding! I laughed so hard (to his surprise) and then explained how important it was for his brain to be with him at all times at school and it needed to quit its day job.

Ah the joys of parenting an autistic child. I just can't make this stuff up...

Senior Prom

 
Eric took Jillian Alger to the senior prom over the weekend. They had such a great time with the close friends in their group. It was really a wonderful way to celebrate the end of senior year at Mesa High. We sure appreciate Jillian and her gentle influence on Eric - they have been friends since they were 8! I am so happy he chose one of his best friends to go to prom with. We sure love Jillian - and they look so cute together, don't you think?

PICC Free

Darrell was given a clean bill of health as recovered from the parotitis. No more PICC line! No more IV antibiotics! Sometimes it's hard to be grateful for a body that seems to betray him at every turn. But as he faces each new physical challenge, I am constantly amazed at how he can stay positive and grateful. And it's not for show - quiet moments between us and the family, heartfelt prayers he voices, all remind me how strong and focused on the big picture he truly is.

Darrell has taught me so much - not only about him, but about my shortcomings. I know I would not face the challenge with the same faith that he has. I wish I could say that I would be as strong, but I fear I wouldn't be. I guess I need to pay better attention and learn. Because we all will face seemingly insurmountable trials in our lives. Every single one of us. It has made me ponder - how would I do? Not how do I HOPE I would do, but how would I do? It has made me make some mental adjustments.

A volunteer position came up in the community that required a 5-year committment and Darrell was considering throwing his name in the ring. I was so proud of his thought process - he is living like he will beat the odds. Who is to say he won't? Not me! I am gonna stick around and watch the miracle.

Easter 2009

 
Hope your Easter was a time filled with family and good food. Ours sure was! We were so happy that Darrell came home from the hospital to be with us. Happy Easter to all 2009.
.

Double Happiness

This is the symbol for double happiness - which describes me & Darrell now that he has been released from the hospital. Although he is on a PIC line and gets IV's of antibiotics twice daily, he feels great, looks great and we are all happy! Amazing how humble you get when you really get down to the heart of things. As long as my honey is OK, I am doing great. Stuff like the house not perfect, my hair or weight not perfect, etc seems really silly. Good to always progress and strive for excellence, but not good to obssess and let it depress you. When you have your family, you have everything.

Parotitis

You may think parotitis has something to do with:


But you'd be wrong. It's an acute bacterial infection of the salivary glands (think mumps) and my poor honey got it over the weekend. We are at day 3 at "glorious" Club Bannner, but I think because he is responding so well to treatment he will get out today or tomorrow.

Keep him in your thoughts and prayers. Darrell is a trooper! Between hospital stays he appeared in court at a pretrial hearing, and was hospitalized again a few hours later. I am so impressed with my husband and his committment to providing for his family. We are grateful to all those who helped us.

Bryanna's Soccer Party

 

We had so much fun today at the end of the year soccer party for Mesa Soccer Club Girls United 96 Team! The best part was the parents versus players game. And the feet were flying! Darrell played goalie with another mom in the box and he was rocking! He slapped four or five balls out of the box to keep them from scoring - once the ball hit him in the knee and down he went. Bryanna ran over to make sure Dad was OK - what a sweetheart - she is so protective of her Dad. Darrell got right back up with some help and received a much deserved round of applause.

We really enjoy watching Bryanna play soccer and the friends she has made along the way.

Max & Lucy

I have the pleasure of watching a cute little girl named Lucy. Don't you just love that name? When she comes to play, Max has such a good time. He instinctively knows to be careful, and he has taken great pleasure and pride in sharing his toys and trying to make her laugh or play with him. He told me last time she was here that he wondered if she would let him sit with her and snuggle in the bean bag chair. That is precious, because he only does that with me. I am encouraged to see this nurturing side of him. Thanks to Lucy's mom and dad for trusting us to take good care of her. We sure love having her!

You are What you Eat?

I have a cute little friend that I love to hang out with. She is beautiful and tiny - but of course she doesn't know it! We had a chance to escape to our favorite fast food spot, KFC. After we ordered I looked down at our drinks:



Guess which one is mine? It's just a coincidence, right?

Milestone #1- Celebrate with Us

We are celebrating! This is the longest that Darrell has been out of the hospital AND the lowest dose of prednasone that he has been able to tolerate since his diagnosis in July 2008! He fought off a cold (this is big, because it means his weakened immune system is still fighting) and is feeling "pretty good".

I just wanted to post how grateful we are to our friends and family and all those who have sent good thoughts and prayers our way. We are especially grateful for the priesthood blessing given by Bishop Curtis and the promises made. Darrell and I have clung to that blessing as we have moved forward. As a family we want to express our love to Bishop Curtis, Bishop Merrill, President Bradshaw, Bishop Walker, Brother Brown, and all those worthy priesthood holders that have blessed and guided us through this challenge.

I have read that a trial is when you really have to decide where you stand. You simply can't sit on the fence when you make life decisions. This has strengthened our resolve, fortified our faith, solidified our marriage. And we have the gospel as our roadguide to help us through. Without it, Darrell's illness would just feel like an unfair break without any hope of survival. But we have hope, we have strength and we have resolve. If you have any questions about our faith, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, please click on the picture of the Temple on the right-hand side and get your information straight from the source. It will change your life, if you let it.

Check back for Milestone #2 - 1 year post diagnosis on July 3rd....yes we can.

Now Take It, That's for You

Do you ever see a movie that leaves you with one line you just thought was hilarious? Well we saw Don't Mess with the Zohan. This was classic Adam Sandler - which means parts were stupid and other parts were just comic genius (in my humble opinion). Click here to see the scene with the classic line...

The kids and I repeat this with food and even gaseous emmissions (smell it, smell it, now take it - that's for you!)

Eric wins Essay Contest!

Mesa Public School District held an essay contest and all English students could submit their original pieces. Eric put his heart into his essay and his English teacher convinced him to submit it. The news came yesterday that he got 1st Place in the personal narrative category! Now this isn't first place in his class, or at Mesa High School. This is for all schools in the Mesa School District. He will be recognized at an awards assembly on May 6th. You can feel the emotion as you read his essay:

Orchestrating My Place of Peace

“One hundred twelve degrees, 5:32 p.m.”, scrolled the electronic banner in front of the hospital. As the sun banished behind the distant horizon, I reluctantly pulled into the busy parking lot. A symphony of thoughts conjured up an electrical storm of neural impulses in my head. “What changed, is everything alright? Have his kidneys turned around?” The Banner Gateway Hospital sign loomed nearer as I approached the intimidating, gloomy building. When I finally reached the door, it slid open with a welcoming light. The smile on the receptionist’s face gave me a ray of hope and radiated a positive aura at the hospital entrance. “Room 215?” I questioned. “Take the elevator and it will be to the right” replied the optimistic man. The vast elevator opened to reveal a beautiful interior with glass and granite handrails. Upon the second floor the elevator opened and I was greeted by two plasma televisions, both displayed challenging diseases and life-changing trials. “Wow, I couldn’t image having to worry about those trials”, I pondered. “It is a good thing that he only hurt his leg. They can fix that up and we’ll be back to our normal lives.” On the way towards room 215 were a series of closed doors and hand sanitizer dispensers. “210, 211, 212, 213, 214”, I mentally counted. Finally, room 215. I took an uncertain breath and pushed the door open to reveal my mom perched upon the edge of the room’s couch next to a sanitary white hospital bed that supported my dad.

Upon seeing me, my mom quickly put in place her most cheerful expression and stated, a little too happily, “Hi Honey”. I sat next to my mom, and waited expectantly. As she took a moment to pause before speaking, my Mom turned to my dad and said, “Shall I tell him or should you?” My Dad simply shook his head and quietly whispered, “It would be best if you did”. Before my Mom could speak, the door swung open by a small commanding figure who wasted no time with introductions. When he sat at the foot of my Dad’s bed, the electronic bed shifted to accommodate his weight. He leaned forward and earnestly began talking. Words that sounded like a foreign language rolled naturally off his tongue. Words I had never heard before and didn’t understand. Words like lymphoma, t-cells, non-hodgkins, and stem cell transplant. I stared at the doctor’s mouth as the words tumbled out. When the words cancer and chemotherapy finally penetrated my ears, I suddenly understood what was happening and that enlightenment hit me like a thunderbolt. I continued to watch the doctor as he described a diagnosis, prognosis, treatment plans, and a transfer to another hospital. The room spun and my mind raced. Was this what I had been summoned to witness? I finally understood. My dad had cancer.

A few months had passed since I learned the news about my father’s condition. I felt so helpless, but there was one thing I could do to cope with the chaos. From my place on the piano bench, I created beautiful waves of chords that resonated and filled the air in the small home. The music’s emotion could be clearly detected by the casual listener as I set the music with a swaying “A”-based arpeggio. When the base of the song was established, the higher-pitched melody crept in, and created a reflective feel to the piece. I concentrated intently. Ironically, I felt no control over the notes that seemed to magically flow from my fingertips as I closed my eyes and let the music simply guide me. The swirling, seemingly random thoughts and flashbacks of my father’s illness that float unconnected within my mind were tied together in a pattern of organized, complete musical expression of notes and chords. Collections of keys that built in tempo vigorously, increasing amplitude gave way to soft, light chords, held until the desired resolution that only I could feel, seemed to express what I could never put into words. As the final haunting notes were dispersed throughout the home, my mother’s voice broke the silence. “That was beautiful, honey. But I have never heard you play that piece before. In fact I‘ve never heard you play so much. Where are you getting your inspiration?” I simply turned my head to deliver the words of my heart. “I am orchestrating my place of peace”.



This has been such a hard year for our family, but Eric has turned a trial into a triumph. Congratulations honey, we are so proud of you.

"Larry" Hadder?

Eric can let his hair go. We're talking I'm-protesting-a-war messy and I'm-a-teenager-go-away long. After some convincing and strong-arming my 6 foot 3 son,we got in the car in search for Great Clips. With the wait as long as 1 hour, and me unsure how long I could keep Eric in captivity, we drove around looking for inspiration and found it in an old fashioned barber shop. Perfect, I thought! We walked in and we were greeted by a old man. Old fashioned shop, old man. I guess it figures. Pleasant enough, he beaconed Eric to the chair and began to cut. Now this guy was really good - and he could talk while he worked. And just to prove it, he talked incessantly. He asked my son his name - Eric he answered. This guy said "Harry"? Eric shook his head. "Terry"? Again a shake. "Steven"? I am trying to fight off laughing. The barber gamely tries one more time and asks Eric to spell it. E-R-I-C. "Oh, Larry!" At this I start laughing and look at the other barber. I can tell he is laughing too, but something in his eye told me the old guy wasn't trying to be funny. Was he thinking:


Or worse:



No clue from us - or him - for that matter. So Eric was Larry for the barber's entire monologue. He is such a good kid - he just went with it. I tipped the guy $4 and we made it just outside the door until we broke into laughter. This is one hair cut we will both remember. It was Ha-Larry-ous! (And I didn't make this up to drop a bad pun, I swear - ask Eric!)

It's Punny to Me

I LOVE PUNS. Another one of my guilty pleasures - RockBand, Pepsi Max, KFC, really super soft socks, candles and puns. Read no further, you just described me.

Now there is no substitute for puns on the run - those little nuggets of funny that present themselves without planning. You know the ones that practically make themselves. And after all the immediate groaning, everyone laughs. Well I can't recreate those, but i thought I would give you some of my favorites. Somewhere Richard Milenkovich is smiling.

1. I couldn't remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
2. There was a sign on the lawn at the rehab drug center that said "Keep off the Grass"
3. Just in...a hole has been found in the wall of a nudist camp. The police are looking into it.
4. And in local news, police responded to a call from a daycare center. Seems a 3-year old was resisting a rest.
5. William was going to join the army until he heard his drill sargeant yell "Fire at Will"
6. To write with a broken pencil is just pointless.
7. What's the definition of a "will"? P.S. it's a dead giveaway.
8. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
9. The toy gun was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
10. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
11. What do you call someone else's cheese? Nacho cheese.
12. Be true to your teeth or they will be false to you.
13. A man clothed in nothing but saran wrap asked his doctor if he would diagnose him as insane. Absolutely, the doctor said, I can see your nuts.
14. The invisible man married the transparent woman. And their kids were nothing to look at either.
15. Someone was running a flea circus, but a dog came and stole the show.
16. Pills with long names are quite a mouthful.
17. Tennis players don't marry because Love means nothing to them.
18. Other girls like the word "marriage" because it has a nice ring to it.
19. I'd like to go to Holland one day. Wooden shoe?
20. When a man got shot with a BB gun, the case ended up in a pellet court.
21. I just saw Finding Nemo. What did you think of it, on a scale of 1 -10?

Darrell Weighs in on our Rock Band success

Find out what Darrell thinks of our Rock Band success here.

I don't get no respect!

Pure Nerd Joy

Introducing our "band" - Thanks for the Candy. Our maiden battle resulted in #2 - and so close to #1. Fantastic when you consider so many "bands" competed! How I love to play Rock Band...even better is being so good (and humble, right). Now how nerdy is that?! I rest my case.

My Valentine

I wanted to post some things about my favorite Valentine.

1. Darrell is the kindest, most patient person I have EVER met. This is no joke - even with the prednisone, which is a steriod and notorious for mood swings and personality glitches, you would never know with him. He just keeps plugging away, in the moment, without any anger for his health or circumstances. He is such an inspiration to me.

2. Darrell is the best dad ever. He calls them all honey and sweetheart. He always has time to watch a skit, a performance, watch Max dance, have Eric tell him the latest physics experiment, or support Bryanna's endless demands from soccer. He gets up early, goes to bed late, pays for lessons, trips, etc. all for the sake of enriching their lives. He can skimp for us, but is helplessly generous with our kids. I like it.

3. He is honestly spiritual. Long before we joined the LDS Church, Darrell was active spiritually. Growing up Nazarene, he has always had the Lord as a focus in his life. He serves quietly, completely without the need for praise or recognition. I am grateful to his parents for setting a good example for him and being dedicated to their faith. Anyone that loves and serves the Lord is good people in the book of Michelle.

4. He is my very best friend. I can (and do) talk to him about everything. No subject, no experience is off limits. When we were dating, I remember thinking this is a guy I could have children with, doesn't micromanage what I do (think RockBand or endless 2-liters of diet pepsi), would love me even if I were in a wheelchair, and is the one I would choose to take to Disneyland. Yep, this is the guy for me! Even when I am upset with him, he is still the person's advice I seek. How lame is that? He has been everything a best friend, girl or guy, should be. I could tell you stories of our outrageous fun and silliness together, but I think I will keep that all to myself. (I know silently you are thanking me for not sharing!)

5. Darrell is so intelligent. When we met, he didn't even have his associates degree, and I thought "are you kidding?" I used to refer to him as my diamond in the rough. An accounting and law degree later, he is able to earn a better living. I am such a fan of education for everyone. Remember, he has no need for praise or attention, so he is quietly smart. Doesn't try to take over the conversation to show you how smart he is, or to sway you to his position. He is often underestimated in his profession - and this is to his advantage. He isn't a jerk, or screaming, or cussing, or taking a hardline position just to prove a point or just because he can. There is a movie line that says "never let them see you coming" and Darrell personifies this. I have seen him do this over and over again in court. He has the opposing party, counsel or police officer boxed in the corner and they never saw it coming. I think this is very funny. I am way too obvious.

Thank you for letting me tell you about my favorite Valentine. Bryanna gave a talk about gratitude in Church last Sunday, and one thing she said was "I am so grateful for my parents. If they were to suddenly go away, I would be so lost". I agree wholeheartedly about Bryanna's dad. Let's hope we never have to experience that feeling.

I love you honey! You are my Valentine.

The Inner Workings of My Mind

Nap time - I am finally able to close my eyes. A chance to get away from the stress and worries of the day and forget. I am quiet and drift away. I am floating in an indeterminate blue and green mass - it takes me a moment to realize it is the ocean. I have no idea how I got here, but I can almost feel the water, and somehow I know it is very deep. The water is calm. I take its cue and begin to relax. Quietly, without rapid, frantic movement or warning, I am acutely aware of another presence. I can't see anything, but suddenly I know I am in very real danger. That feeling that washes over you - the hair standing up at the back of your neck. It quickly occurs to me what is in the ocean right next to me. A great white shark. And I am terrified. But afraid as I am, I remember that there was nothing else near me. No boat, no shoreline, nothing to swim to or anywhere to go. I am totally trapped and the feeling of helplessness is overwhelming to me. I can see this predator so clearly in my mind's eye. I know that if I reach out, I can touch it- it's that close to me. I can envision its teeth and the damage it could do to me. We are just floating together, no hurry, no movement, almost indecision. But I am absolutely petrified. I have to do something. From the recesses of my mind, I remind myself that I am only dreaming. That this is a horrible feeling but I can somehow try to make it stop - I can get away. I try to will myself to wake up. Have you ever done this? It's a horrible feeling.... I am trying to shout at myself to wake up before the menacing shark has a chance to tear me to shreds. Finally - and I don't know how long it took - I force my eyes open and lay in the dark sweating. I contemplate the meaning of the dream, and know it's pretty obvious. I got away this time, but I know the "shark" is just around the corner. Waiting for me. And there isn't anything I can do about it.

Buckethead's "Jordan"

Listen to Buckethead's "Jordan" here! This is a really high energy song. Try it on Guitar Hero....good luck with that. (Thanks Erin for teaching me how to link!)

All Hail KFC

I love KFC - this borders on obsession. It is right up there with a nice fire, warm blanket and a nap. Total indulgence. I will turn down an offer of dinner but shamelessly change my mind if the dangling carrot of KFC is placed before me (Mary Davis). I like it so much that I like this guy, aptly named...(wait for it)....Buckethead!

If anyone has ever tried to play "Jordan" on Guitar Hero, you KNOW his talent isn't just in picking hats.
Random.....maybe. A grateful post as I eat my left-over lunch of KFC? Yes. Just let me enjoy the moment...

Darrell Released for Good Behavior

So happy to report that Darrell is out of the hospital and home with us. We joke that he was released for good behavior. If there is an award for patience and long suffering, I nominate him. Throughout all of this, he has endured without murmur or complaint...seriously. If it were me, the hospital would have thrown me out long ago. I only aspire to be like Darrell.

For all of you that helped us, and brought us treats, and dinner, bread, called or text us with encouragement and even visited me while I cried, here is my corny thought, inspired from a commercial:

diet pepsi...$1.25
dinner.....$10
moral support and loyal friendship.....priceless.

Thank you for being priceless to the Hadder family.

Surgery Successful

I am relieved, grateful and happy to report that Darrell's surgery was successful! The procedure was unremarkable (which for Darrell is good) and the stone was removed. At this posting he is still in recovery, but no problems anticipated or experienced, despite the clots in his lungs. Now we can focus on dissolving those, but the good news is Darrell is no longer in excrutiating pain and on his way to recovery. Thanks to all our friends and family for their support and love during this time. You are wonderful!

I Hate the Hospital on Weekends

Be warned...never get sick on the weekend because it seems everything stops. They said now that the Urologist is stuck at another hospital and won't be able to do Darrell's surgery until tomorrow. On the weekend they only have one surgeon on call. That stinks and a poor way to manage things. What no one gets sick over the weekend? The schedule trumps urgency for the surgery. Another 24 hours for him to be in pain, another 24 hours for his kidneys to worsen. This is the lesson on long-suffering and endure. Ok OK we got it already!

Kidney Stone Surgery

Darrell's kidney function is worsening and the stone is stuck, so he will undergo surgery at 1:00 pm today. I am just happy he will at least be out of this awful pain. They placed a filter in his femoral artery to catch any blood clots that could break away. It also catches any small ones and keeps them from joining together and stopping blood flow to his heart or brain.

Please keep a good thought and prayer for him as he undergoes this procedure. Hopefully it will go well and his kidneys will improve (anesthesia causes more strain to the kidneys so initially he will be worse, then hopefully better). We can then concentrate on dissolving the blood clots in his lungs. I will post an update later today.

When a Kidney Stone is Good News

As if my poor honey didn't have enough to go through, yesterday he developed excrutiating pain. We took him to the ER and he is trying to pass a kidney stone. I know many of you have experienced this and would not wish it on anyone. That's the good news. When they did the CAT scan, they caught just enough of his lungs to see he had developed blood clots in both. A subsequent leg unltrasound showed clots there too. As of this posting, he hasn't passed the stone but is still in lots of pain. They are nervous to do surgery to remove the stone because of the clots, and because they need to start him on blood thinners to dissolve the clots. But they can't start dissolving the clots if they have to take him into surgery. He's in an impossible position and they will have to make a decision soon.

Please join me in praying that this stone will pass without invasive intervention and they can start dissolve those clots. We had no idea he was walking around as a potential stroke waiting to happen. I never thought I would be so grateful for kidney stones because if he hadn't been in so much pain passing the stupid thing, we wouldn't have found out about all the blood clots.

We are in our home-away-from-home, Banner Gateway. We would appreciate all your prayers and positive energy. This one has really sapped my energy. I think I am just tired, so please add your faith to mine so it can help overcome this trial for Darrell. We love you all and appreciate everything you do for our family.

One of Those Perfect Weekends

This weekend was just about perfect!

1) Bryanna had a wonderful game where she made an exceptional keeper save that the crowd yelled for and even the line ref complimented. It was a sight to see her dive sideways in full layout to keep a ball out of "her" goal. She sure loves soccer, but not necessarily the cuts and bruises that come with it. Ok, she does....
2) I got the Christmas stuff finally all taken down, the house cleaned and the laundry done. This makes me very happy.
3) Played lots of RockBand, complete with lots of Pepsi Max (this makes me happier).
4) Went to Sonic with Eric and had some quiet Mom & Son time.
5) Did my visiting teaching for the month for both Sisters.
6) Went to dinner with new friends Preston and Tami Cameron. We sure love our new Ward - it is starting to feel like home. It's great to make friends with similar tastes, not the least of which is the gospel. After dinner we went to the Cameron's home and found that they enjoy music as much as we do. Between the game room with the projection TV and huge speakers, RockBand, the real drum set that Brother Cameron plays, and their concert footage DVD collection, and it was all Darrell could do make me leave their house. I felt like a kid on Christmas and kept looking for a place I could hide in and stay a while. We sure love the Camerons.
7) Darrell is feeling well.
8) The Cardinals make it to the SuperBowl.
9) Monday was a work holiday.

Can every weekend be like this please? I just loved it.

Dad's Visit

 
It has been wonderful to have my Dad come visit from Pennsylvania. He came for my birthday, and we have really enjoyed having him for the last week. We each took a day off to spend with him, so everyone got some one-on-one time with Grandpa Bubb. We took some photos after Church today. Dad was released as a Bishop the Sunday before he came out after 6 years of service - I think he enjoyed just sitting in the pew with the family. He leaves tomorrow for the snow- thanks for coming out Dad! We really enjoyed seeing you.