Monday, February 23, 2009

It's Punny to Me


I LOVE PUNS. Another one of my guilty pleasures - RockBand, Pepsi Max, KFC, really super soft socks, candles and puns. Read no further, you just described me.

Now there is no substitute for puns on the run - those little nuggets of funny that present themselves without planning. You know the ones that practically make themselves. And after all the immediate groaning, everyone laughs. Well I can't recreate those, but i thought I would give you some of my favorites. Somewhere Richard Milenkovich is smiling.

1. I couldn't remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
2. There was a sign on the lawn at the rehab drug center that said "Keep off the Grass"
3. Just in...a hole has been found in the wall of a nudist camp. The police are looking into it.
4. And in local news, police responded to a call from a daycare center. Seems a 3-year old was resisting a rest.
5. William was going to join the army until he heard his drill sargeant yell "Fire at Will"
6. To write with a broken pencil is just pointless.
7. What's the definition of a "will"? P.S. it's a dead giveaway.
8. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
9. The toy gun was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
10. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
11. What do you call someone else's cheese? Nacho cheese.
12. Be true to your teeth or they will be false to you.
13. A man clothed in nothing but saran wrap asked his doctor if he would diagnose him as insane. Absolutely, the doctor said, I can see your nuts.
14. The invisible man married the transparent woman. And their kids were nothing to look at either.
15. Someone was running a flea circus, but a dog came and stole the show.
16. Pills with long names are quite a mouthful.
17. Tennis players don't marry because Love means nothing to them.
18. Other girls like the word "marriage" because it has a nice ring to it.
19. I'd like to go to Holland one day. Wooden shoe?
20. When a man got shot with a BB gun, the case ended up in a pellet court.
21. I just saw Finding Nemo. What did you think of it, on a scale of 1 -10?

4 comments:

Kathy P said...

Ha! What about this one:
Once upon a time there was a worm digging in ernest.

Poor Ernest!

Mary Davis said...

Your so goofy, I love it!

Ed said...

You are awesome. Love the puns. And the new background.

Milan Richard Milenkovich said...

Pun is nup spelled backwards and that will be e-nup out of you. Thank you, thank you I'll be here for the rest of my life.